Something Happened!

I have never witnessed or been part of any accident. Sure, I’ve seen people fall sick, but it’s never been a situation that can be called an emergency… until today.

A girl collapsed on the bus [on my way home] in an epileptic attack! She was sitting on the seat in front of me (diagonally). The girl turned around and looked… it seemed like she was searching for something or someone… and I felt confused when I noticed she also looked at me. I was thinking something stupid like maybe she was trying to determine whether I was wearing contacts or not (I wear purple contacts). As soon as she turned back, she fell to the floor! And she started shaking! Never in a million years could I have imagined I would witness an epileptic attack in real life. It was so scary my heart started beating really fast! Everybody else, naturally, got freaked out as well. The lady sitting next to the girl took responsibility and shouted to call an ambulance, which a young guy did, while she sat next to the girl and tried to figure out what to do. Someone suggested putting something in the girl’s mouth so she doesn’t bite her tongue, but the guy sitting next to me looked up on the internet that you shouldn’t do that. Eventually the shakings stopped and it looked like the girl was sleeping. Then she slowly woke but was sluggish and confused. She could barely answer any questions (like if she has epilepsy and forgot to take her medicine) and had to be told several times what actually happened to her.

Finally the ambulance came and a few of us explained what we saw, and they took her away. Poor girl was so confused… she was struggling to put an earring back on that had fallen off, and the ambulance lady had to tell her more than once to just leave it. Can’t imagine how she must have felt. I myself have fainted more than a few times, once in public (don’t really see them as accidents cuz they weren’t serious :-/), but I have no idea how an epileptic attack might feel like. Hope she will be alright.

What amazed me is how much it all seemed like a movie… there she was, shaking for real, someone shouting “call an ambulance!”… it was all so… I don’t know… scary. I couldn’t relax even after we got out of the bus and got on another one (cuz that one had to stop, and the traffic police had to come or something like that)… it took me a long while to settle down.

I think it was one of the ambulance people who said “these things happen”. And I was thinking that… they do. But this isn’t the first time I’m having a routine to stick to that forces me to use public transport. I’ve been in school. Nothing ever happened then.

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Is it only me or is life considerably different when you’re a full-time worker? Everything is different. Life suddenly has a lot of meaning, while at the same time it loses a lot of content. I wish I could put aside all my plans of studying for the future and simply work like this… stick to this routine. I have come to like it very much. Even waking up 5:46 every morning doesn’t seem like a pain anymore. But it’s already been a month at work… and I have one and a half month left.

I’m not saying I love my job everyday. From time to time I become frustrated, tired, stressed etc… right now it’s so cool at work we barely have anything to do, but more than a month from now the work load will be like it was when I started. Right now we do some of tomorrow’s work, and then we will be doing yesterday’s work. And you don’t always love your coworkers as well. Mind you the people I “hang” with, mostly two 19-year olds, are okay… but that doesn’t mean we’re besties. Hell we haven’t even added each other on Facebook :-/.

But… as a whole… I’m enjoying it. The routine. My life right now. Going to work, being at work, coming home from work, playing with Rayan, watching series… and then Friday afternoon and the weekend. Some weekends relaxing, some others socializing. This is how I’m enjoying my life. It’s the little things that make me happy, and right now I’m more content than I’ve been in a very long time.

At the same time I’m scared. Cuz I know that whenever I become happy with something and proclaim it, there is a huge chance it disappears. And I cannot afford any sadness right now… all of a sudden I have too much to lose. Can you believe it? Cuz I honestly can’t. After every crappy thing I’ve been through for the past few years…. I can’t believe where I am. To anyone else’s eyes it won’t look like I’ve achieved much, but to myself it’s huge.

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