Roma

I started writing on this yesterday but was so exhausted I couldn’t finish it. So I’m finishing it today.

Everybody I know who has travelled to Rome has complained and snorted at the Bangladeshis there. Apparently the streets are filled with Bangladeshis selling flowers and other things. Okay, I thought, let’s see. And it was true. Not only Rome but also Venice is filled with Bangladeshis. And all the street shops selling souvenirs are owned by Bangladeshis (except for maybe one or two here and there). You don’t even need to ask. You just go and start speaking Bangla with them. It was astonishing.

And the Italian Bangladeshis (I know it should probably be ‘Bangladeshi Italians’ but I have tossed the words around to suit the context better) are like none else! Their hospitality and helpfulness cannot be measured. The mentality of those people is so humble and unlike anything I’ve encountered in Bangladesh. No offense, but I personally think Bangladeshi people in general are selfish and they will do anything to trick or fool you for their own benefit. But the Italian Bangladeshis are… they are exemplary! They’re trying to build a community there for the future generations of Italian Bangladeshis and they’re doing everything the right way. Yeah it’s true that most of them don’t have an ideal living situation, and the rents go through the roof, but regardless of how bad it is they stick together! I mean that’s what the Bangladeshis had back when the country was first independent and then somehow lost it… but the Italian Bangladeshis help each other out and I didn’t see a single arrogant person (we talked to many of them!). They were so incredibly humble that it touched my heart and it is something I will carry with me throughout my life. I pray that they manage to keep this up and continue like this. Then maybe when the future generations become more educated than the current one, they’ll be able to make Rome or even the whole of Italy an ideal place for Bangladeshis to live.

It must be the spirit in Italy… because Italian people in general are polite, kind and forward. Almost everybody who sat beside Rayan on the metro or bus played with him or talked to him. On our fourth day my dad, brother and sis-in-law were attacked by a pickpocket, and an Italian young woman I think somehow managed to kick that girl out of the train (I didn’t witness any of it cuz I had my back to them) and was shouting at my sis-in-law to “attenzione!”. I highly highly doubt any Swede would go through all that trouble for a stranger.

Anyway enough general talk… I have a feeling this post is going to be long

Day 1 – Arrival

We arrived in Roma around midnight. When we got to the hotel, we noticed that the guy standing in the reception looked Deshi. Foolish as our family is, my brother greeted him with “hola” (“ciao” didn’t cross his mind?) and mom said out loud (in Bangla of course) that he looks Bangali. I think I was the one who produced the straw that broke the camel’s back though, telling my mom not to speak loudly in Bangla everywhere cuz there are Deshis everywhere. That’s when the dude started speaking Bangla, stunning us with his well-spokenness and helpfulness. You barely even find people in Dhaka as well-spoken as him!

The hotel is a very nice 4-star hotel located at the south of Rome. The rooms and everything are great. The only thing I felt slightly disappointed with was the breakfast – there wasn’t much to choose from and it was the same thing every day.

Day 2 – Relatives and La Fontana di Trevi

My sis-in-law’s aunts live in Italy. She has one aunt and a “second-aunt” (mother’s cousin) in Rome and another aunt in Bologna (who couldn’t make it so we didn’t meet her). We first went to her first aunt’s place (her uncle picked us up), and the second aunt also came. And they were among the most hospitable people I’ve ever met. The daughter of the first aunt (9 years old) is adorable and so calm and sweet. She has a younger brother and the second aunt has two also very sweet daughters. These children are all born in Rome and speak flawless Bangla and Italian. There is no sign of rudeness or bratness in them… and they are exactly as I dream of my future children to be (highly doubtful but hey one can dream!).

Afterwards we went to the Trevi Fountain. It was much bigger than I thought it would be, and it was crowded. I had a cent which would probably be of no use anyway so I tossed it in. Not cuz I believe it will change my luck but because you know… I was there… I just had to :P .

The day had taken its toll on poor Rayan and he was exhausted. He hadn’t eaten in four hours. And from being at home all days to traveling all the way to Rome and spending the whole day out in unfamiliar surroundings under scorching heat (of course his trolley was covered but still) was just too much for the little toddler.

Rayan on the bus.

For dinner that night, I got a taste of a real Italian pizza for the first time in life. The bottom was incredibly crusty! Maybe in a better setting it would have looked delicious, but trust me it truly was!

Day 3 – Citta del Vaticano and Previously Unknown Italian Dishes

In Vatican City we visited the Basicila San Pietro. Once again the heat drove me crazy, but what is going to Rome without seeing the smallest state of the world? Our guide, my sis-in-law’s uncle, explained to us that the city is guarded by the Swiss Gard. At that moment I didn’t really find it important to take any pictures of them but they were wearing some interesting outfits. They weren’t standing still like those statues outside Buckingham Palace though :P , these guards are free to move around.

We were invited to dinner that day at the second aunt’s place, and they served us some Italian dishes I hadn’t heard of earlier. It was delicious! But I wish we hadn’t eaten in that Indian restaurant (it was either that or the kebab place next to it as they served halal food) at lunch (I had pasta there), cuz the dinner was heavy with a variety of real Italian food. Unfortunately I didn’t manage to take any pictures of it. What stunned me was how much these people actually know about Italian food. They were explaining the various flavors (it was the uncle who was the expert on Italian cooking here) and why this and that to my mom and it sounded so unlike anything I’ve ever heard a Bangladeshi say. For example that aunt said that Bangladeshi cooking consists of so many spices that you ruin the actual flavor of the ingredients. And regardless of how I can’t stand bland food, I agree that sometimes it’s too much. What they served didn’t consist of any more spices than garlic, salt and pepper (and of course olive oil), yet it was tastier than many of our Deshi dishes.

Day 4 – Venizia

Mom, dad and I went to Venice. To be honest with you, I didn’t know much about Venice except for the obvious. I didn’t know what the must-sees are, only that when in Venice you have to ride a gondola. It was my mom who insisted on this small trip, as it was one of the must-sees/do’s on her list. And I wasn’t sure whether or not we would actually go so I hadn’t prepared for this trip (hadn’t researched anything). Anyway we still went there through the EuroStar train which took us about four hours.

The best way to describe Venice is… EXPENSIVE. If you’re looking for a budget way to move around there, consider walking (it’s a small city) or taking one of the water buses. Because I hadn’t researched enough on the city, I didn’t know that there was something really awesome to see in the center of Venice. I asked around how to get there, but couldn’t find it… You could take one of the water buses there, but before I knew it mom had approached a gondola and was asking the “driver” about his prices. My plan was to walk to the center of Venice and then take a gondola from there… but ah well.

Not long after our gondola ride, it started pouring! My sis-in-law’s relatives had told us that you could take water buses to nearby islands which had various factories, among which one is Murano where they create glass and crystals. But even if we could have managed the time and money, we could not have manage the weather. So the rest of our little one-day trip was spent sitting inside the train terminal. I took a longer walk though, hoping to reach the center on my own. Didn’t go that well :-/.

We arrived back in Rome sometime after 23:00 same day and discussed our plans for the next day (which included the Colosseum and shopping).

Day 4 – Colosseum and Failed Shopping

Before the Colosseum, the first two days, my sis-in-law’s uncle had guided us. This was the first time we went out on our own, and so we were attacked by that little pickpocket and my brother’s shades were gone :-/.

The Colosseum was also different from what I had imagined. For example the “field” or “stage” wasn’t there. Instead you saw right into the dungeons, where they kept all the machineries and weapons for the “shows”.

We didn’t go all the way up (the stairs were very steep). Mom, my brother, sis-in-law and I went up to the first floor and the wind in those corridors was incredible! It was cool and soothing, and if I lived in Rome I’d probably go to the Colosseum to simply sit inside one of those corridors and feel the wind.

We had planned to visit the Roman Forum also, but we realized we didn’t have enough time, because we had some shopping to do also before one final invitation at the first aunt’s place for some more Italian food :D .

Unfortunately we couldn’t do much shopping either. Once again Rayan was tired and uncomfortable and we had to buy gifts for my sis-in-law’s relatives also. I managed to buy a bag and a pair of sandals, hoping to be able to return to Rome someday to fulfill my shopping dreams ^_^.

At the aunt’s place we had some more Italian food, among which one was a spaghetti dish. We got different plates for the different dishes, the aunt emphasizing how we won’t get the proper taste otherwise. This is so alien to me because Deshi people never think like this. The whole thing, their knowledge and adjustment to the Italian culture as well as building up a sustainable Deshi environment is least to say impressive.

Our flight was early in the morning the next day, and our host at the hotel, Shumon the Deshi guy, gave us some breakfast for the road. One final time the hospitality touched me.

Unfortunately Rayan caught a fever on our way back home, so his parents took him to the emergency room directly from the airport whilst the rest of us went home.

Roma as a city is incredible (minus the crowded public transportation), and so I’m going to do this…

ROMA IN MY HEART 4-EVER <3!

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12 thoughts on “Roma

  1. Sounds like you had a great time in Rome! Glad you found nice Bangladeshis there though I am sad you dislike them so much back in Bangladesh. My family and I would not be living there now if we thought the same as you. Wherever we go, in whatever country, we find them generally to be nice people who show much greater hospitality than westerners on the whole. There are always some who are cheats but then poverty breeds such behaviour – though not usually amongst the poor themselves but those who have clawed their way out and got a taste for money. I guess you won’t have found many like that in Italy – they will all be well off compared to their brothers in Bangladesh!

    • Oh no not at all… most Bangladeshis there sell stuff on the street… we didn’t meet a single one who’s well off. Some have been struggling for 10-15 years yet not been able to climb higher than a restaurant job. And please do not take offense, but it might be possible you are treated with kindness over there because you’re not native. And being a Bangladeshi, being born and living in this culture… well you get a whole other view of things.

  2. Well actually I meant well off compared to Bangladeshis in Bangladesh – the average street seller in Italy is better off than 70% of those in Bangladesh. I don’t take offence but you’ve fallen into the trap in making assumptions because I am a bideshi. I have been here many years and have a lot of Bangladeshi friends who are like family and consider my family as their family. We live in a very close community and I have been involved in choosing husbands for young friends and other intimate things. Mostly though, I was referring to the friendliness and help I see Bangladeshis give each other. They are much more helpful than British people to each other and this is no surprise – Bangladesh is communal in culture whereas the West is individualistic.

    If you’ll forgive my sparring with you, perhaps you have not appreciated that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’? Before I came to Bangladesh I hated English culture and struggled with the people. Bangladesh helped hold a mirror to my own culture by being so different to my own and it made me appreciate my own a lot more. I realised that there are things I DO like about being English and some things that are good about my own country. I still struggle with a lot of the crap there – that hasn’t changed – but now appreciate there is some good and I AM English. Perhaps, you have seen something in Italian Bengalis that you haven’t noticed in Bangladesh because it has been masked by the bad which is undoubtedly there? Sometimes it is hardest to see clearly the culture in which we have been raised.

    • I wrote this really big reply then my computer got stuck… sigh!! Anyway I’ll give it another shot…

      I think first we have to agree to disagree. Because we come from different backgrounds and obviously will have different outlook on Bangladesh. Even though I’m born and brought up in Sweden, I don’t compare Bangladeshi culture to the western one. There’s no point in doing that, cuz Asian culture is generally very different from the western one. We have different values and the communities are… tighter. But that still doesn’t exclude all the backstabbing, gossiping and rumoring.

      If Bangladeshi people truly weren’t selfish, then the country would have been a much safer place for people to live in by now. If the politicians and other decision-makers cared. There are many stories pointing out how selfish Bangladeshi people are, so I’m not the only one with this opinion. But as I said, we have different outlooks on it and we compare it with different things. The reason I can say all this and not feel bad is because I know from what my mom has told me that things weren’t like this back when the country first became independent. I mean how else would the country have been independent? Everything was different back then… even when I was younger people were different. But now some have no choice, and those who do still take the easy way out…

      • I think it is fair to agree to disagree – though discussion is always good. We all learn from each other don’t we even if we don’t see eye to eye on a subject we can still broaden our perspective. It is certainly fascinating to hear your point of view.

        I think we can and should compare cultures and I wouldn’t write my blog if I didn’t believe that. I have learned so much about my own culture through Bangladesh because it IS so different to mine. If they were the same then there would be little to compare.

        I’m not negating what you say about the issues though I think your summary of why the country is in so much trouble now is simplistic and actually not demonstrated in the statistics which shows it is one of the fastest developing countries in the world now. It has overtaken Pakistan in many areas which is incredible for a country that is just 41 years old.

        Many Bangladeshis share your view, I know, including that things were better back in 71. But I think that is one of the biggest problems for Bangladeshis – a real low self-esteem. In the UK we say very similar things and just after WWII we were at our best and most selfless – much worse now. However, if you look at historical records you see that Bengalis have always had something of this belief that that they are selfish. This was LONG before the war of independence.

        I’m afraid what you describe as the Bangladeshi condition I describe as the British one – I suspect the truth is that in all communities you will get those that act selfishly and horribly. It is not common to just one culture. The difference is Britain has had 1000 years of prosperity. Bangladesh has had the very opposite.

        It’s good to disagree and shape each other’s thinking – so thank you for engaging with me as we come from so many polar opposites to each other! I hope you found it a friendly spar – it was certainly intended that way :)

        • Omg can’t believe I lost my comment AGAIN!! Let’s see if I remember what I wrote… umm…

          I know that my point of view is rather simplistic, and that has to do with the fact that we interact with different type of people over there. You probably meet much more people and engage in larger communities, whilst I have to deal with crazy relatives and stalkers. I have to say yet again that I admire the work you do for Bangladesh and the positive outlook you have on its culture and people… which is much more than what most Bangladeshis abroad care for, sadly.

          And it’s probably true what the stats and the facts say, but it’s really difficult to see it from where I am if you get what I mean.

          Yes of course… a little friendly spar every now and then is good for your health :D !

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